I know that life with you will always be an adventure babe, and that is why I'm so sure about us.

And thats why im sure babe...no one but you.

A Good Weekend

I have realized so much and have learned so much about myself in the past few weeks, it's just coming to my mind as I am writing this. I knew I had potential to be the person i am becoming and have to be, but didn't know how it would feel or affect me emotionally. These past few weeks have been so much to take in it's unbelievable, I have been saying to myself how much of a roller coaster life has been lately. I cant tell myself enough how proud I am to have the people I have in my life that are there for me. My current situation as of tonight is that as soon as I'm done writing this I am off to the motor home which is a 20 min. drive away now because it has been moved to west hills. Out of the schechters Steve, Justin and Donna have continued to live at Lillie white (the cleaning office). Lauren and I have been staying in west hills at the motor home the last week. But tonight i go to the motor home alone. Debbie who owns Lillie white and the motor home want myself and the schechters out of both places by tomorrow and we have yet to find a place. Tomorrow is a big day, we are to move, and the plan is that we stay at a motel till we find a house for lease. Things should turn out ok, it's time that we separate from Debbie's help.

This weekend was really good in the fact that i learned more about myself and the relationship between T and I. I'm one that tends to be drama free, and deals with emotion in a way that I can keep myself stable. I know not to bottle things up, but I tend to not always let it all out...



Babe-

I don't know how much you realized you proved this weekend to yourself and I, without you not needing to prove anything. I think this weekend was very emotional for us both, ups and Downs. Only you know what I mean, but With the prom situation I took it in way I had to express to you, and you really thought it through well, not just that, everything that happened this weekend. How i felt was my own problem, but i know you understood why. Your intentions were good and only that, I had realized this right away. I have 100% trust in you and in us. It was something that had got to me, that shouldn't have to that degree. This is where I learned a little about myself. You asked me if you could fix what you did, and I told you that "it is what it is, and that you really couldn't." But I was wrong. you fixed it in a way. We both learned a little something here. What you did was ok in your mindset, and meant no harm. Once again I realized this right away, but I had mixed emotions about the way you came across. You have chosen to only go to our prom, which is ok too. I have always told myself I would never stop you from doing anything you wanted to do, this is true even if it's something that can be hard to take in. The choices you make and the things you do will always be yours, and you will know my honest feelings about it...and Vice Verse. I don't know how you did it but you made me feel so much stronger about us when I keep thinking how we could possibly get any stronger. All i know is that you were able to do this by the way you handled the whole weekend. The influence you get from your parents at this age is very powerful still, and has a great impact. I know that you have completely followed your heart and continue to do so. You put allot of thought into everything from your emotions to the little simple things in life. All I know is that you will follow your heart wherever it takes you babe. As far as us I couldn't be any happier, the bumps in our relationship no matter how big, from our current situations to your mothers view of me is the true test for us..But like you said earlier, an overall easy one. When it comes to being proud of who my girlfriend is I couldn't be anymore proud and thankful. Our conversation today when we first met up and sat down after getting our drinks, (about the current situation with your mom and I) I saw something in you. You were so strong with your feelings and so sure, more sure and confident about what you had to say than you have ever had to say about anything. You have been there for me and I know you always will be, you have been so strong and I see you growing allot and maturing so much. We are both doing this together, and I just feel proud and happy to fall in love with someone as special as you.

you mean the world to me..

..Forever and Always

Babe'

It's not that your Sexy, beautiful or funny..I just love you so much, no matter what, because your someone I will always love. Your my bestfriend and lover, you have been here for me through all these hard times, and good times, and i will always be there for you too. There will never be anything that could stop me from loving you like i do.

Always and forever Babe.

Casa'

Hahahah heh it's chillen.

Motor home.

Job

Scared today I wasn't going to eva work. But Still havent heard from my Papa Johns manager. The one thing i didn't like about the job is that it took my friday and saturday nights away from me. But today I got a new job at amiechie's Pizza, where the hours should be more flexibal. But it's good i got a job.

The last two nights i have slept in a Cleaning Van. But tonight we got the Motor home! so thats good. On the fifteenth we move into the motor home, and I pay only $250-$300 rent which is good. Today I woke up sweating in the van, so i cleaned up and went to the library, then bank, then gym to shower/work out. did alot of driving around today. Picked up my girlfriend but once again jus drove around all day till she had to go home.

We need to spend more alone time, or time in general together. Always missin her. but that should improve the upsoming weeks, especially ina couple months. We have the motor home for 2 weeks until we move so thats a better situation for everyone. things still looking forward.

Job Situation

Think I got my job back=]

jus miss my babe=/

A good Day

Mood: Pretty Good, jus keepin up the lookin forward

Today..

-Saw my girlfriend

-Got a call from my dad feeling a lil' sorry bout my situation (A good thing)

-Got 3 Bills for my car instead of $100

-My Manager gave me another option to work again, when there were not any left yesterday

sounds good=]

Day by day it is

I got a good night sleep last night, was really damn tired from the whole weekend and everything that happened. But I woke up not feeling as strong as the night before, probably cuz you wake up and remember what ur situation is for the day. The first thing i did was go to the library down the street and did reaserch on junk yards for my car. If i dont do anything bout my car it will be fined. But all i can get for my car is $100, so far. I tried really hard to look for a situation for life in general today. I basically was fired from my job yesterday, but i called my manager and told her my best solution and got a second chance if it works out...

The plan is that im going to go to work tomorrow and explain to my manager my situation in life currently. Steve, justins dad from the Schechters drives a van, but its not his. but i can use it for work tho maybe. The only problems are that, my manager is going to want me to be insured for the vehical. The vehical has insurance but not under my name. but if i can get my job back legitamitly that would be my life saver at this point.

I got some more things from my house today, like my phone charger. My phone died, and T nd I were supposed to hang out. But that phone dieing fucked it up, nd i got busy with the car thing, then it got too late by the time i got my charger. But tomorrow we will fo sure hang out. I hate not being able to not see her for more than a day, especially if the reason was cuz my phone died.

Today I heard some good news, hopefully it's true. I heard it from Lauren, the schechters daughter who's 12. But she said they got the new house! 4 bedroom! But i will only move in with them if i can keep this job, or have a steady income. Right now we are all living in a cleaning office! Lol "Lillie Whites Cleaning Service". Haha. But things are lookin a little more forward again today. We'll see what happens.

What a day

Mood: I have had alot of mixed feelings today, and with all the shit that went down I am suprised about how good I feel right now.

So life really changed for me in the last 24hrs. From the time I wrote my last post, I have lost my Car, My home, and most likley my job (No car=No job, delivering pizzas). This all began with a bad relationship with my parents in general, and the trip out to Victorville for 420 fest. 420 fest was ok, the venue kinda sucked, and we didn't get to see all the artist we wanted to see, like SHOWTEK! But besides that I got to spend alot of time with my girlfreind this weekend which made me happy. Heading back from Victorville my car, the "Champ" finally failed. My car is dead, but i'll take care of it tomorrow. And the last thing that happened was that I woke up to my dad pissed while taking a nap when i got home. He was pissed about the whole car situation, and me goin to Victorville last Night. He broke my laptop, and called the police to escort me out of my house. I felt pretty Damn shitty today, but currently right now I feel good and am in high spirits to make it through life succesfully. I love the people around me in life, and would do anything for them. I am staying with the Schechters Right now, they always said they would never let me be homeless. They are very close to me, a random family pretty much that have meant alot to me the past few years.

My parents are good people, but we have never clicked that well in life since they adopted me. I had a conversation with my dad steve about and hour ago, and he ask that we no longer talk over the phone and jus communicate through E-mail, but thats fair. I will have to stop by my house soon to gather my belonging's.

As for T and I it was really good to spend the weekend with her because it's been harder for us to see eachother since, she moved out of her Dad's place and lost her car temporarily for this month. On top of that, I lost my car as well today so its goin to be even a little harder for a lil. But we were talking alot today, over the phone since she left this morning and were more than strong. We plan to go out this weekend some time. "Nightmare On Elm Street" comes out! ha. I miss her all the time when I cant spend time with her, otherwise always thinking of her.

Well as much as I feel good right now, I don't kno why, it wasn't the best of days, but thats the mystery about me. I still kno it's gunna be a long, hard road for me. But I can make it happen, feeling aightt. Jus day by day u know.

So here I am..

Mood: It's pretty okay, I mean not the best of moods I can usually be in. But I Trip my self out alot latley.

I dont know where to start. It's about 3 in the morning and I should be going to sleep soon. Tomorrow is a long fuckin day, but looking forward to it. Tomorrow Im going to wake up and take a stunt class that I was invited to by my freind Ashton Moio. He does stunt double work for movies, I kno he was in tha "Ring 2", and some other ones. Haven't talked to him ina minute. But thats tomorrow morning at 10, and ends at Noon. After that ima head down to pick up my girlfriend T' from La, at her freind fefe's house. Then we plan on going out to eat at cheescake factory, then jus chill or whateva until I start work. I work at Papa Johns currently, I have mixed feeling bout the job. But work is work. After work, I am going to pick up my Gf and then tha homie Alex. We will be headed off on a long 2 hour drive to 420 fest! SHOWTEK! I was over showtek but always wanted to see him live. The rave goes till 4 in the morning, then I dont know whats happening next or where we are crashing. Long day like I said.

Well it's late, but one last thing. I was pretty sponaneouse bout starting this blog. I copied my Gf on this one. She has one as well, and after i decided to read her entire blog from the day she started it tonight, I decided to start one of my own..

T and I have a very strong and emotional relationship, which I will explain in this blog. After reading bout all the history of hers which dates back to bout 10 months ago (We have been going out for the last 4 of those months) I noticed so much of what I already knew about her, but there were little things here and there that I learned. I thought that was good, So I want to do the same by creating this blog for her and for all.

Love' is a crazy thing, I can never get enough of it..

Tiahna & I.

Well tired now, Good Night everyone.